As you know my nutritionist, Christina, gave me the menu where I had to pick foods that I had to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner and all those snacks in the middle. I had to eat 3 starches for lunch, 1 meat and 1 dairy... I think. Christina was super, super nice and comforting. She didn't acted serious at all, but I could tell she wanted me to get better.
There was this one day where Christina was telling me that after I leave the hospital I would have to drink whole milk, (only temporarily) But, I freaked out. I started sobbing loudly. I hate whole milk with a passion. It tastes way too thick and a little greasy. Nevertheless, she looked right at me and said, "Raquel, will just give it a try?"
I said, "I'll.......give it a go." Of course, after I said that thinking to myself: I don't want to drink whole milk!!
(and beside whole milk is high in Saturated Fat, and a large portion of the calories in this food come from sugars.
http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/dairy-and-egg-products/69/2
Then later on through out my stay the doctors had to increase my calorie intake. -_-
Once in a while a nurse would put me on a wheel chair and we'd go outside and just look around. It was nice being outside, instead of inside my freezing room. However, when we were outside I just felt so sad, because like I only wanted to go outside if I was leaving the hospital forever. I wanted so much just to run, jump, skip around, feel the grass, but I couldn't. One time after being outside another nurse says to me with a smile, "Wasn't it great to go outside? Did you have fun?"
"It's just the outside. Nothing I haven't seen." Her smile instantly fade away. Now that I look back to that moment I wish hadn't said that.
The doctors thought I was depressed based on that sentence. I just wanted to get the heck out of the stupid hospital. They wanted to give me pills. Like that would help.
My dad goes up to me and says, "Look, they think you're depress, which I know you're not. So, tomorrow, no matter what, smile." Tomorrow comes along and I have this smile on my face. My nurse walks in yawning and I say, "Good morning, lovely day isn't?"
I really tried to appear happy, but in reality I was bored out of my mind. A few hours go by and the doctors (all my doctors, but not Christina.) walked in with their hands behind their backs, "have you reached a decision?" they were talking to my parents. Then my dad was quick to say, "We have reached a decision and we won't do it." To this day I am thankful for my dad standing up for me like that.
As my stay in the hospital lingered on Ale and me would color together and do puzzles. I hate puzzles, but like there was anything better to do. My favorite part was when I found play-doh. I love play-doh. I made all these weird and colorful creations.
I got to be honest. People ask me all the time, "how did you get out?" and the truth is I'm not out. I'm still struggling. If anything the only thing I have done is that I have accepted this challenge from God because I know that I can help people through this trail.
