Ordeals

     A few weeks ago, maybe two or three, my mom asked me a very interesting question. Now, I can't remember her exact words, but I do recall the main point of her question. She said that some people after dealing with a horrific ordeal or a challenging trail, they bounce back, being resilient. These people find new hope and have a kind of determination that cannot be shaken. My mom's question was how do they do that? Why do some people never seem to recover, while others do? The reason why she asked me that question, was because I had a mishap, a big mishap with anorexia and I bounced back. My mom told me that day that she sees in me a kind of determination that cannot be shaken. My mom was asking how did I do it, how am I still doing it?
     Well, I thought about it, I stuttered at first, but then I gave it more thought, maybe 30 seconds go by. This is what I basically told my mom, "We can either let those trails and tribulations hold us down and limit us, you know capture us, or we can let them captivate us."
My mom was surprised and later on told me that "nailed it". When I told my sisters about what I told my mother, they too were pretty surprised. My twin sister comes up to me and tells me "from now on, when you give your testimony, you have got to say that". Alright I will. In fact, let me repeat myself. We can either let those trails and tribulations hold us down and limit us, you know capture us, or we can let them captivate us.
     Dealing with anorexia nervosa was hard and I cried many nights. It was very nerve wrecking and I felt excessively worthless and useless, but during my stay at the hospital something clicked in my mind. I thought to myself God can turn this around. This can become my story, my testimony. God can use anorexia in my life to glorify is name, it can be put on display, showcasing his perfect will for me. Now, it was not at all easy. I allowed anorexia to capture at first, I felt trapped by the voices and by the accusations that placed upon myself, all because I let the lie become true. The lie was dragging me down, but a few after leaving the hospital, I was very much interested in eating disorders, and I wanted to know about it more. In a course of maybe six or seven months after leaving the hospital, I thought Anorexia can become a stepping stone for me, I can help other boys and girls with this story!
Then as more months went by, I increasingly became captivated, totally captivated by the possibility of anorexia nervosa, it is such a mystery. Eating disorders are so intricate. I am glad I went through that ordeal, it gave me new found hope, all because I was willing to believe that God could use this to benefit me and that's how one can go from captured to captivated. I am captivated, through GOD.

He thought of everything

I want to be a dietitian, that's my chosen career. In order to do that, I have to take biology along with chemistry classes, a lot of chemistry. In fact, just a lot of both. I am right now taking biology classes over the summer and I am really shocked about what I am learning. Not learning in an academic sense, more like learning about the creator of the universe. In biology class, we just gone over the organelles of a typical cell and there are so many intricate details. All of the organelles floating in the cytosol in the cytoplasm are constantly working in harmony making protein, lipids, creating ATP, giving humans the daily energy to stay alive. Moreover that is only one cell, the human body is made of thousands of cells! He thought of everything. How the plasma membrane would be hydrophobic on the inside, but it would be hydrophilic on the outside,
 There are 92 naturally occurring elements in the world and only four of those elements are in the right percentage level to support 96% of all living matter. Oxygen, Carbon, Hydrogen, and Nitrogen. God knew exactly how much of each would be needed to sustain life on earth, he made earth, of course he would know! The smallest unit of matter is the atom, that is made up of even smaller pieces we call subatomic particles. Electrons, protons and neutrons. These subatomic particles when arrange in a certain order can become a specific element. Suppose, 30 protons, 30 electrons and 35 neutrons, that would make Zinc. However a totally different combination would make an entirely different element. Sodium, Cobalt, Tin, Calcium, Argon, Fluorine, Silver, Gold, Bromine, and that's just a few, really, only a few.
These elements when put together in certain chemical bonds can make other substances. Na, sodium with Cl, chlorine, put together, we have salt. Take another instance, one calcium with one oxygen and two chlorine put into a certain molecular structure ---> Ca(ClO)2 gives us Calcium hypochlorite, which is often used as bleaching agent.
I remember, my chemistry teacher would keep saying "We, humans made nothing. All that's on earth, we didn't make, all we have been doing is writing stuff down" very true. That's why we have so many, many text books. We just keep writing things down. First on stone tablets, and against stone walls in Egypt, then on scrolls, then on paper with feathered pens. Eventually, leading to now onto the screens of laptops!
It boggles my mind that people of such high intellect think that all of the wonders in the world were made by mere chance and luck. If everything was made out of pure randomness and of stuff crashing into other stuff, well then why does everything work so well here? The water cycle. The krebs cycle. The way that this blue dot on the face of the milky way, is so conveniently captured by one ray of the sun, providing warmth and light, it's crazy. He thought of everything! Nothing is unknown to Him, but almost everything is unknown to us.
Humans have come a long way, a mere two decades ago, the internet was just starting out. Google was not at all a part of anyone's life. The first phone was made in 1876 and now in the year 2014 phones can fit inside our ears. Humans have discovered and made so much, all (I repeat all) a feeble attempt to understand our surroundings. We have only tapped the mere surface of what keeps this planet we call earth together!
The first settlers of America credited all creation to the creator, and established this country knowing that God was the one who got them there!
What of the mind? The power to formulate a logical thought, happens in mere seconds, everyday, to everyone. Millions of people around the world are right now, receiving stimulation of which enters the brain and then is translated into meaningful information! The hippocampus, stores our memories, those snapshots of us with friends and family members. It connects emotions with our senses. Psychology is so vast, and is just starting out. And those "imperfections" of certain mental disorders, ADD and ADHD, all the functions of the body we have yet to understand, are all screaming to the perfect designer of all time. The waterfalls, the starts, the black holes, the amygdala, all of them, are screaming giving credit to God. There are many people, who want to know their purpose, who want to know how the earth came to be, and how long will it last.
Evolution gives one explanation, an explanation that is widely supported and yet flawed. Evolution does not explain why humans crave personal gratification, why humans appreciate beauty, why we dream at night. Evolution is does not explain the increasing imagination that humans have. It does not explain why humans need a sense of value and of worth. But if the world was made by God, a loving supernatural being, who is capable of emotions, and is beauty, well that explains all. And yet nothing at all. Because too few people actually know the truth and even less of them care to share, I am a victim of such.