when I left (next part)

I remember, that while I was secretly exercising, my parents were growing suspicious. I knew I had to be more discreet, but with every opportunity I had to myself I just had to workout. I was falling back into the same hole, but I (along with all anorexics)  denied the facts. I was still keeping my diet, however I did tried to find ways to cheat the diet. That didn't really work out. One day, I went to the hospital and my doctor asked me if was exercising. I said no, I lied right through my teeth. The doctor still took my word for it. Inside, I was so relieved that no one suspected anything, but keeping up with the lies was becoming such a burden for me. On the same appointment, the doctor told my mom to buy drinking supplements. You know brands like, Boost and Ensure. My doctor said this because I needed to gain weight. I instantly thought to myself, "I'm going to have to exercise more if I want to maintain my weight." I hated the fact that my mother actually bought some supplement drinks, I hated the fact that I had to take them. The only thing I could was workout more to balance it out.

The more I exercised the more and more I felt that parents one way or another would eventually discover the truth. I tried not to think like that. I think, in the mist of all of that, I might have even felt a little proud that I was keeping a secret like that from my parents.  However, one night my family and me were invited to a BBQ and all the kids were playing sports, I wanted to play with them so badly. And so I did. I didn't wait to ask my parents. I didn't care what would they say to me if I played with kids or not. I wanted to do what I wanted. Recall that my parents didn't know that I was secretly working out , so they let my played with the kids. I felt so free and all so happy, but I knew that I was lying....again. We went home and I don't know how the subject came to be, but all of a sudden my secret came spilling out. I was sobbing immensely. I have no idea what my parents were thinking. That night I confessed my secret work outs. My mom asked me how could I have been working out if she never suspected anything. "In the bathroom!" I cried. I don't think she could believe what was I saying because all she said was, "What?" perhaps in shock. I cried and cried. That night was terrible. I felt soooooo bad and sooooo scared. Why did I feel scared? Because I knew that after that night my parents would make sure that I gain weight.

I had another doctor appointment in like three days. Those 72 hours were like hell. I had to eat twice as much as my diet recommended and this time the mom made sure I ate. Those three days I didn't work out at all. Terrible, terrible! I felt like was being punished with every passing minute. When the appointment finally came, I gained weight. I didn't even wanted to think about it. The doctors were pleased and so was my mother. I was not, but then the doctor told me that I could now exercise. I remember saying to myself, "It's about freaking time!!" Needless to say I was angry.

Let's carry this on in the next blog ^_^             I <3 God!  
Merry Christmas.